Do you self sabotage yourself?

This post was written by Ashley Berges

Do you self sabotage yourself?How do you know when you are self-sabotaging yourself?

How do you know when you are self-sabotaging yourself?

Do you ever partake in self-sabotaging behavior?  Does it seem that you begin this type of behavior when things are going smoothly in your life?  Many people tend to work to one goal or another and then in down time, or in a period of constant change, they tend to want to gravitate to something that is old and understand.  Sometimes the old/familiar and understood is an activity or person who is a negative influence in their life.  This activity, person, or persons are the providers of negative influence for the individual engaging in the self- sabotaging behavior.

When you reconnect with this activity, whether it is alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc., the life path that you were on seems to disappear and a fog sets in.  In the beginning, the fog can seem somewhat magical in the sense that you feel as if you are on a vacation from deadlines and work.  Unfortunately because you are in the fog, you are no longer on the life path you chose for yourself.  It’s not until much time has passed that you realize you have wasted valuable time and don’t know how to get back to where you were.  It can even seem hopeless to know where to begin because there is so much to do.  No one said you have to work every minute on your chosen path, but remember you chose the path because it is of extreme importance to you.  Remember why you chose the path in the first place and realize the value and true importance it holds in your heart and every word and deed.


Throughout our lives, we find people and things to get in our way, subconsciously we like the battle and drama to make us feel human and alive again, and we want to cling to something old and familiar.  Old and familiar can be good sometimes but when it comes to self-sabotage, the old and familiar is just waiting idly by waiting on your preverbal phone call to bring them or it back into your life.  An easy way to know the helpful old and familiar versus the sabotaging old and familiar is by the way you feel when you think of them.  Your body and subconscious know what is right and wrong for you.  You know what is right and wrong for you!  When you think of an old friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc., you have to remember accurately why they are a past friends or past love relationship.  If things had been roses and positive in the past, they probably wouldn’t be ex friends or lovers.  When we are clinging to something familiar out of safety because of life changes, we tend to not accurately see the past for how it truly was.  We tend to see things the way we prefer to see them and we paint a lovely picture that seems inviting, however we must be strong and stand our ground and stick with our decisions we made with regards to this individual.  When you feel the urge to call the past, stop and think about what is going to happen if you open this door again.  Do you want to reopen this again for the first time or for the hundredth time?  You deserve more than this.  You deserve to live the life path you chose and to achieve all you know you can and desire to achieve.


The same analysis goes for when you are thinking of getting back into an activity you once did.  Honestly evaluate your subconscious and the truth you know and before you make that call, before you hit the bar, before you buy what ever it is, stop and ask your self, is this what I want for my life?  Do I want this to get in the way of the life path I have chosen for myself?  Sit back and analysis the situation and why you are feeling the need to self-sabotage your self when you are so close to obtaining your goals.  Humans make mistakes but remember, the longer you make the same mistakes, the farther away your goals and the more difficult it is to get back on your life path.


Don’t allow others or things to get in the way of you achieving your chosen greatness.  You are a brilliant individual that needs to recognize your brilliance instead of going back to the old and comfortable.  It’s a better idea for you and your future to find others who are on a path and have similar goals of achievement, passion, and a real desire to succeed.  You owe it to your self to think hard and long before doing anything to sabotage your future, your present, and the true-life desire you possess within.


The next time you feel yourself trying to self-sabotage yourself, stop, look, and listen to your self, your heart, and your true feelings.  Just because you are going through some major changes in your life including your career, love life, and friends, you must realize that these changes are temporary, relax, and allow yourself to feel this new feeling.  Instead of rushing to call that person or do that activity, sit with your feeling of changes and possible loneliness and allow it to be, by recognizing all the things you’re doing, and by giving yourself much needed credit for your life accomplishments.


Other ways to break the self-sabotaging cycle:


  1. When you feel it coming on, instead of doing the familiar and the normal destructive behavior, do the opposite.  Do something socially where you can meet others who are working and striving towards life goals.  Go to a gallery opening, a documentary, or movie to enhance your imagination and/or to pull you out of this thought process.  You can go to an outdoor activity, a festival, and/or go workout either outside or in a gym.
  2. Read a book that brings you back and centers you.  Get a digital copy or paperback copy of Live Your True Life on Amazon or ITunes.  Read the chapter that speaks to you at that exact time and regain control of your emotions and self in a positive and strengthening manner.
  3. Watch a movie that inspires you to be the best and reminds you why you chose your life path.
  4. Play music, no matter your ability level, and be creative and in your own musical space.
  5. Write down your feelings in a notebook or in the notes area after each chapter in Live Your True Life.  When you write your emotions down, it gets them out and on paper and you can begin to see separation between your self and your emotions.
  6. Talk to good quality friend who is working on his or her own life path and express your feelings.  If you prefer to talk rather than to write this is an option.  Disclaimer:  Be sure this person is a friend that has your wellbeing at heart and wants the best for you.  Don’t call the old and familiar and talk to them, they will only tell you whatever to get you off track and back in the FOG.

How do you know when you are self-sabotaging yourself?


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