Most people don’t like confrontation. The thought of having to confront another individual causes anticipation, stress, and nervousness. There is a tendency to question one’s self prior to confronting another individual. We question our self prior to confrontation to be sure we aren’t part of the problem and it’s also another strategy to putting off the inevitable confrontation.
The tendency to put off confrontation because of our insecurities with dealing directly with confrontation causes even more problems. For the most part, had the confrontation taken place at the exact time of the deed or situation in question, the problem could be rectified and dealt with immediately with no long-lasting hurt feelings or grudges. Instead, the longer we wait, the more personal internal problems are caused within us, these internal/emotional issues cause more division between you and that person, and eventually you find it difficult to communicate with that person at all.
The reason for confrontation, in any relationship, is based on several actions and/or non-actions of another person. The reasons for needed confrontations are: disrespect, dishonesty, communication breakdowns, irregular actions by others, a fail to follow through, stealing, etc. Confrontation gets its negative/nasty reputation because of the personal denial that goes hand and hand with it. When we wait to deal with a situation, instead of dealing with it head on because we believe it will get better or change on its own, which it generally won’t, causes hurt on all sides. In order to have a truly happy life we must have an authentic life.
An authentic life is one that is true to self and true to others. In order to be authentic in all of your relationships, you must be genuine and honest with others and your self. Many times we choose to not confront because we feel that we will hurt their feelings and we feel we need to protect them. However, the idea of protecting another by not confronting them is very egotistical and irrational. By not confronting someone that needs confrontation you are hurting that person instead of helping. Some people know exactly what they are doing, while others don’t and without being honest and confront them; they won’t know why you ended the relationship or distanced your self. The best possible situation is to deal with the situation at the time of the situation so no time goes by and there is no need for a confrontation. However, if you overlooked it or waited because you thought the situation would get better on its own and it has gotten worse, now you must confront the other person before more hurt feelings are created.