Confrontation versus Avoidance: Being Authentic and Pro-Active (part 2)

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Confrontation Reality

Across the board, if we deal with the problem situation at the beginning of the problem, confrontation would not be needed, unless the problem continues.  By waiting, we hold hurt feelings and unanswered questions inside which causes internal chaos and disbelieve that usually caused a bigger divide between you and the other person leading up to the show-down confrontation.


In some situations the showdown confrontation can lead to a greater understanding and clarity in the relationship and can, over time strengthen the relationship.  (For this to honestly work both people involved in the confrontation must be honest and authentic and are not in personal denial.) Another outcome, after the confrontation there is hurt feelings on both sides, and both parties drift away from each other and rarely speak.  And yet another, after the confrontation it seems that everything went smoothly and both parties are good but one person is hiding their true feelings of anger, hostility, the feeling of being judged, etc.  The relationship in this situation usually continues for a while until a major fight takes place and neither party talks to the other again.


Occasionally confrontations can happen between two authentic people and the majority of the time it makes the relationship stronger.  When a confrontation takes place between one authentic person and an inauthentic person, for the most part it severs the relationship because the inauthentic person doesn’t want to take ownership of the problem and in turn is angry and offended by the authentic person.  In actuality, the inauthentic person is truly not mad at the authentic person, they are subconsciously angry with them self.   When two inauthentic people end up in confrontation there is no idea how it will turn out because both people aren’t living through authenticity/honesty.  (This relationship is very volatile and usually ends as quickly as it started.)



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2 Responses

  1. racetam says:

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    • Ashley says:

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