Meeting Kalyn for the first time
Life Coaching Session #1
Big Rich Texas Season #3
Scenes from the first life coaching meeting with Kalyn:
Kalyn and I were meeting for the first time. I realize that for some of my clients, in the beginning, they are a bit uneasy with the entire process especially discussing their issues. Being a bit uncomfortable prior to meeting is normal, and I would be that way if I was the client and you were the life coach. It takes an intelligent individual to step forth and choose to make a conscious decision to make their life better on all levels. In this particular situation, Leslie gifted Kalyn life coaching sessions with me instead of a shopping spree. Prior to meeting me, Kalyn would have preferred the shopping spree. After the first meeting, Kalyn knew the growth potential, personal development, and happiness she was to gain from these sessions and that instead of the shopping spree these sessions are priceless.
In the beginning of our conversation, I express how I will not judge or criticize Kalyn in anyway, and I will be the opposite by being a real life advocate. An advocate believes, builds, and impresses into another individual all that the individual truly possesses. A life coach and an advocate help the other person to understand, recognize, and believe in them self. After ten minutes with Kalyn I see the beauty within, her intelligence, and the love and care she has for others. It was obvious she was carrying around remorse, anger, stress, and an acute feeling of abandonment. These kinds of feelings can cause a person to act out, make ‘bad’ decisions, and can lead to the development of the feeling of being worthless. When a person feels worthless to some degree, that person forgets what is good and uplifting and does whatever with no thought because they don’t feel worthy of true happiness.
Kalyn, like many other clients I have worked with, begins by telling me all the things she has done wrong. She speaks of being a ‘brat’ to Leslie even though Leslie had been good to her. She states that because her mom had not been there for her, she thinks she sometimes takes her mom issues out on Leslie. Unfortunately, it is human to take out our issues on another individual especially when they are close by. Hence, why many men and women take out their work issues on their spouse. The other person is both close in proximity and emotionally invested in the relationship. For sure, Kalyn and her mother have issues that have not been dealt with properly. Kalyn and Leslie may have some issues because of the nature of the relationship. Leslie seems to be helping Kalyn but that is to be determined.
No matter the issues, no matter how big or small, and no matter how many topics exist, Kalyn like the rest of my clients, must begin working on themselves before we can begin working on each specific issue. The neat aspect of working on one’s self is it helps to bring about rapid personal change and growth. It also serves to give needed perspective when it comes to any and all issues in a client’s life. First things first, I begin by helping to open Kalyn’s eyes to who she truly is. Kalyn is not a brat, she’s not stupid, she’s not abandoned, etc., she is a truly dynamic individual with a lot going for her. ***It takes an outside unbiased source to give another individual the gift of seeing them self purely and honestly.
In this case, Kalyn needs to begin seeing herself for who she truly is. Yes, her mom has pretty much abandoned her to do her own thing and this has hurt Kalyn immensely. Sidebar: We can’t expect someone to be something they are not. FYI: Even though some people have the title of Mom or Dad, it doesn’t mean they are going to be Mom or Dad. Some people with these particular titles aren’t able to live up to the title. Also, as a child, we have a tendency of seeing our parents as all-powerful and all knowing. For the most part, parents don’t have all the answers and are learning as they go. Kalyn will benefit immensely by seeing and understanding her abandonment issues with her mom. Once she is able to understand that she is not the reason for her mom abandoning her, Kalyn can be more at peace with herself and her surroundings. If you focus only on Leslie’s actions: the baptism and hiring me as Kalyn’s life coach, it appears that Leslie is doing what is best for Kalyn.
In the first session, the client and I work to remove the negative broken record in the client’s head. This broken record can range in severity and context. In particular, Kalyn has struggled with abandonment that leads to feeling unworthy, and this unworthiness is what we have to fix immediately. In order to remove the negative broken record from the mind, we must place a new UNbroken record in its place. The new unbroken record begins with Kalyn knowing and announcing to others and her self that she is a good and deserving person. She is a positive source for inspiration for many people and others look up to her and follow her lead. ***Kalyn, like others, don’t hear this type of reality as much as they should and once it becomes engrained in her brain, she can get worth from within.
Kalyn takes with her two pieces of life work (homework) this day. The first piece of life work is to read, “The 10 Day Challenge to Live Your True Life,” and to make the new record a reality. A client makes the new record a reality by committing it to memory, understanding it, and believing in it and in self. Every time she begins to think negatively or unworthy, Kalyn stops and realizes she is acting/reacting to a situation based on the beliefs from the broken record. Once we clearly begin to observe our actions and reactions and see they are derived from a negative thought process of ourselves, we then can make the necessary changes to better our life in its entirety.