Is He Controlling you? 8 Signs that Indicate Yes

This post was written by Rhonda Wasserman

Original content by Ashley Berges

Are you in a relationship with a controlling man?

Often control goes under the radar and we misconstrue control for something completely different. Identifying and understanding when you are controlled will be very powerful for you to figure out.

Here are 8 signs that you are in a relationship with a controlling man.

1.  The first indication is that you are always apologizing

You apologize but do not even know what you are saying you are sorry for. It appears the other person is making you feel like you need to apologize. Often, It feels as though you are always messing things up but do not know what you are doing wrong.

2.  You find yourself hiding things from him

Whether it is a small thing such as what you ate for lunch, or something big like going out with a friend, you find that you need to hide it from him. As a result, you hide things to avoid his overreactions or questioning.

3.  A third indication is that he establishes all the rules in the relationship

Often, the rules may apply to him, but more than likely they do not. However, if you do not abide by the rules, you will be subject to his comments and questions.

4.  He is constantly criticizing you

He finds ways to criticize you for all the choices you make. They find issues with you based upon the clothes you chose to wear to the friends you chose to spend time with.

5.  Everything is conditional

There are a lot of conditions in a controlling relationship. You are expected to drop everything for them, this is known as a conditional response. Therefore, it always seems to be about, “what have you done for me lately?”

6.  The other person makes you feel guilty about everything you do 

Often they cause you to feel guilty when you do something without them. They may text you, give you the silent treatment, or be passive-aggressive. Furthermore, these actions are an attempt to make you feel guilty. Consequently, it feels like you must do everything with them for them to not make you feel guilty.  

7.  There is no privacy

It comes down to constant questions about your phone, text messages, who you were with, and what is going on at work. In general, there are questions all the time. They may even go as far as wanting to check your phone. If you ask for privacy or tell them no they cannot check your phone, they automatically want to know what you are hiding. In controlling relationships, the last thing you have is privacy.

8.  No alone time

We need to have alone time, it provides us with the chance to rejuvenate, connect with ourselves, and do some things on our own.  Furthermore, when we are in a controlling relationship the idea of having alone time is nonexistent. If you want alone time, you are questioned as to why, and it will be found unacceptable. For this reason, it feels like you are being smothered and controlled by the other person.  

These are just 8 obvious signs and indications of a controlling relationship, there are many others. If you are being controlled by him in a relationship it is crucial that you become aware of these signs. Once you can identify these signs, it will make it easier for you to understand why they are happening and take the necessary steps to change your relationship.

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