Author Archive

The Negative effect Enabling has on both the Enabler and the Enabled

There are some major pitfalls when it comes to enabling another person. Both parties are affected when we enable someone. Let’s take a closer look at the pitfalls and the consequences.  1.  We allow people to self-sabotage  In the beginning, we often think that the person’s issues are small, that they will change, and that we […]

When Thoughts Create Stress and Anxiety

Original content by Ashley Berges Do you spend time worrying about the future, Future thinking? It takes us from being mindful in the moment to thinking about what could happen and most likely what is not going to happen.  Future thinking can cause us to be prisoners in our minds. We are constantly thinking about […]

Do your Parents Meet the Ideal Standard?

Original content by Ashley Berges How we think about our parents is influenced by how we are raised, and our parental programming.  Society has an unwritten definition of what a parent should be. A mother should be doting, and available to take the children whenever and where ever they need to go. A father should […]

How to have that Important Conversation to Create Solutions in your Marriage

Original content by Ashley Berges Are there deep conversations in your marriage that you should be having but avoid? Often, we avoid these conversations because we are afraid of our spouse’s reaction. It seems that the longer we hold onto something, the more it eats at us. When we cannot get solutions to the topics […]

Stop! Don’t Lose your Identity by Taking on others’ Issues. How to put things into Perspective

Original content by Ashley Berges It can be difficult to figure out what we want for our own lives. This difficulty often stems from the fact that we are busy taking on other people’s issues, or we may just have co-dependent tendencies. Co-dependent tendencies cause us to want to care for, help, and be there […]

Indications of when you are Enabling instead of Helping

Original content by Ashley Berges What happens when we are enabling our friends, family, or significant other instead of helping them? Most of us want to help the people we care about in our lives. Often, we may not realize that we are enabling instead of helping. Let’s look at 11 indications that identify when […]

How to Open up Communication in the Marriage

Original content by Ashley Berges When conversation breaks down in the marriage, almost everything else in the marriage follows suit. When we deal with a communication breakdown we seem to separate, it feels like we are going through the motions without the emotions. There is no communication intimacy or conversation with depth. Furthermore, you are […]

Why are you with me? Identifying Relationship Insecurities and BPD Tendencies

Original content by Ashley Berges Does it feel as though no matter how often you tell your partner you care and love them; they are never satisfied for long? They ask us, “why are you with me, or why are you with someone like me.” Often, these questions come from someone who has BPD tendencies […]

How to Survive your Toxic Family over the Holidays

Original content by Ashley Berges Are you stressed out, perhaps even dreading the holidays? Do you have a toxic family dynamic that causes you to dread having to deal with the family during the holidays? We need to understand our family dynamic to make personal decisions when spending time with our family during the holidays. […]

The Powerful Control Core Beliefs have over why we Self-Sabotage

Original content by Ashley Berges What is your choice of self-sabotage? Self-sabotage can be a conscious or unconscious action. We can be aware of our decision or we can be unaware of what we are doing. Therefore, these choices and decisions can sabotage and hurt us.  Often, we are unable to see the patterns in […]