How to find what you like, what you love, and what you don’t want to live without.
By: Ashley Berges
The best spot to meet someone in Dallas depends on you. What do you love to do? Here’s some cold, hard truth: Relationships grow and mature based on common ground. You do research when looking for a new physician, deciding where to get your master’s degree, or in which neighborhood to buy a house. You have to do the same when thinking about where to meet people.
Location, Location, Location
I see so many people who have fallen short in the bar and club scene. In my opinion, clubs are usually loud and crowded and the ideal setting to meet someone is in an environment that allows for conversation and clear communication. After working with a client on self-sabotaging behavior, she ceased going to bars and instead took a local approach to dating. She lives in Uptown and instead of logging in to online dating sites, she got to know her neighborhood, familiarizing herself with the area and the businesses and restaurants that interested her. Chances are that like-minded people live close to where you do.
Another client was new to Dallas and went online to find the right spot to meet folks. She’s a cyclist and a running enthusiast and was interested in meeting men who were both fit and interested in conditioning sports. When she came into my office with a list of options and asked me what I thought, I was impressed that she’d moved outside the proverbial dating box. She began cycling with a group, met a guy, and they’ve been dating for over a year.
Even more important than where you meet someone is how you meet. Your mindset is vital to making an impression. It can make or break new relationships. When we walk into a room and feel insecure, we give off a vibe that we’re inferior. Cellphones have replaced our security blankets and we use them to put distance between the IRL crowd and our digital friends. If you take the time to leave your house and meet people, don’t use a smart phone as your protection. Be in the present moment and even if you feel out of place, remember that you are leaving your comfort zone to better your life, to meet new people, and to put yourself out there.
In order to find lasting friendships and relationships, get to know yourself and think about what sets you apart from everyone else. It took me years to embrace the very things that make me unique. Once I did this, I could care for another person without the drama and the strings attached. I wasn’t looking for a man when I met my husband; I was working on myself, he was working on himself, and then we worked together. We’re coming up on our twelfth anniversary this summer. Once we stop looking for validation from the outside, things usually align.
Ashley Berges is a Dallas-based life coach, family therapist, and syndicated radio talk show host of Perspectives with Ashley Berges, which can be heard on 570 AM KLIF and 660AM KKSY. She has written three books; her most recent is The 10-Day Challenge to Live Your True Life.