Second, we need to point out the situation in a positive way. For example, we may have to let them go off on their usual tirade. We need to let them go through whatever reaction they have to the situation. Once they are done, it’s time to give them some examples. If they are arguing about a specific event, such as a parking ticket, it helps to bring up a situation that you find more challenging. This new situation would require more emotion.
Perhaps a relative of theirs went into the hospital and they did not respond nearly as angry and upset as they did with the parking ticket. We need to create a good example. Remind them of a past situation. Ask them why they were so calm with that situation, and then ask why they got so upset about another situation.
It is good to get them to see this and figure out what the difference is between the two situations and their reactions. Giving specific examples is the only way to get them to see something. We can’t talk about it in a vacuum, it has to be real examples of things they have reacted to.
Using examples that have happened recently allows them to go back into their mind, and remember how they were feeling. It is also important for them to understand why they acted a certain way.
Next, bringing up specific questions, similar to a therapist, is important. Ask them why they felt that way, why they reacted a certain way, and why they were angry about one thing but not the other.
These questions will help them think about why they acted the way they did. It will help them become more aware of their reactions. These questions will also help them understand why they respond the way they do in specific situations.
