Let’s take a look at a Narcissist’s Generosity. Why do narcissists do things for others? What is the difference between someone doing something altruistically vs. someone doing something to benefit themselves?
“The Narcissist’s Creed’” is the reason why they give to others.
The first interesting thing about this is that we need to know the difference between someone giving altruistically or doing something altruistically versus doing something that is not altruistic.
For the narcissist, when they do something, it is all about being self-centered. They are thinking about themselves. They need to have something done; they look around to see who can serve their purpose. It is not about going directly to a person and helping them with something they need; the narcissist looks at the person as a means to an end to benefit them.
Another thing to remember when comparing altruistic actions to non-altruistic ones is that when we act altruistically, we do so even if it doesn’t benefit us. When we come from a narcissistic viewpoint, it’s doing things for others that benefit the narcissist. Initially, it feels beneficial to the other person. In that moment, it is useful, but it is usually not the direction that the individual is going.
For example, the narcissist may take the other person off their direction; it may be seen as an opportunity for the other person, but it’s what the narcissist needs at the moment. The other person gets confused, thinking it’s a beneficial situation for them when it is not.
When someone does something altruistically for another person, it is because the other person needs help. In the situation with a narcissist, the other person turns it around, making the person benefitting from the gesture feel like they are benefiting from it. They do not see that the narcissist is benefitting more than they are.
The last concept we are going to go through right now is that narcissist gives to others, but in the process, they lie to themselves about why they are doing it. They lie to themselves to convince the others around them that it is not based on manipulation or control, it’s giving for the sake of giving.
The narcissist goes to great lengths to convince everyone that they are charitable and a hero. They create elaborate stories as to why they have given to get others behind them.
The interesting fact is that when a narcissist is helping someone else, it is only beneficial to the narcissist. In the process, the others who believe they are benefitting will eventually get hurt. They will either not live up to what the narcissist wants, or eventually, they will get upset because they will realize that this action has not benefited them. It has taken them off target, fulfilling the narcissist’s needs and not their own.
Many of us may be surrounded by people like this who come out looking like the hero. Everyone looks up to them because it appears as if they are doing all these great things. When someone is altruistically doing something, they don’t brag about it; they usually keep it to themselves. They want to create pride within the other person they are helping, but also, it is done because they want to do it, not for any sort of limelight or pats on the back. It is done for the sake of doing it.
This is the biggest difference between a narcissist doing something for you versus somebody who is altruistic and just cares about you and does something for you. It feels very different as well, as one instance is all about the other person, and when it’s altruistic, it is all about helping just you. It has nothing to do with the outcome for the other person that is assisting you.
The reason why someone does something is very important. Are they altruistic, or is it because they want something from you? Many times in these situations, you are taken off your target to advance someone else’s life, seeing it as an opportunity instead of what it is as a distraction.
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