Original content by Ashley Berges
Unsafe sex and sex with multiple partners are some of the risky and impulsive behaviors that are evident in someone with the signs and symptoms of BPD.
When we talk about unsafe sex and sex with multiple partners with someone who has BPD tendencies, it is important to know the reasons why they are doing this.
One of the biggest reasons that anyone does any type of impulsive or risky behavior is that it is a form of escapism. They are escaping their lives, trying to forget a situation for a moment in time while they are participating in an activity.
There is a lot more at stake when it comes to sex. One of the big things when someone is having sex in these situations is that there is a reason for it. One reason is the fear of abandonment, the fear of being alone. When they are having sex with someone, that feeling goes away at that moment.
When someone with BPD gets into a relationship with someone emotionally unavailable or unable to commit, the person with BPD tends to act out. They act out and have sex to gain control, feel more in control, and feel like there are other options. They can also have the fear of abandonment and being alone and need to fill that void at that exact moment.
Another aspect to think about is monkey branching. This is when someone is not feeling safe or comfortable in their relationship and they feel like the other person is going to leave or abandon them. The person with BPD tendencies starts looking for greener pastures. In this process they are having sex with other people, making sure they have a backup plan if their original partner leaves them.
Having more options and feeling like more people love them is another aspect of this behavior. Sometimes someone with BPD will go back to an ex and have sex with them while they are in a current relationship. This gives them a feeling of control and possibly reestablishing the old relationship.
They also connect with the other person and feel that the other person is still there for them. Sometimes they do not want to have sex with the other person, but the other person wants to have sex with them They have sex because they do not want the other person to abandon or leave them.
The fear of being alone is central here. Being in the moment allows people to escape and perhaps monkey branch and jump into a quick relationship. Sometimes it may just be that the person they are in love with is just not with them. Individuals may frequently experience self-loathing and self-judgment, which may trigger additional risky or impulsive actions. The escaping may not last as long as it used to for these individuals. They may have to add drugs or alcohol to help them get through whatever it is they are going through. It is important to realize that these things go hand in hand.
Watch the entire video here:
