Gaslighting, manipulation, triangulation, and narcissism are painful realities that can leave us doubting ourselves and questioning our worth.

These patterns are evident in our personal lives, at work, and throughout society. For many of the most painful gaslighting happens at home, where it slowly wears away at our sense of self.

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional and psychological abuse that revolves around control and power. Even though it is not physical abuse, the effects can be just as devastating. The goal is to make you doubt yourself, your memory, and your reality.

When gaslighting works, the victim questions everything, including their emotions, instincts, and self-worth. Over time, this creates confusion, anxiety, and deep self-blame.

Five Common Forms of Gaslighting

Lies and Denials-Gaslighters twist or completely deny the truth-even when there is proof. You are left questioning your memory and perception of reality.

Manipulation- They create doubt and confusion so you don’t know which way is up. The more you question yourself, the more control they gain.

Scapegoating– You are blamed for everything. If you were the “black sheep” growing up, you may find yourself repeating that dynamic in your adult relationships.

Coercion and Shame– There is pressure through threats, guilt, or shaming you into doing something against your best interest. Some common examples: pressure for money, material items, or even lifestyle changes that harm you.

Trivializing Your Experiences– Minimizing your feelings, belittling your emotions, or mocking your past. Over time, you may start to minimize your own feelings and lose trust in yourself.

The Effects of Gaslighting

Living in a gaslighting dynamic can feel like being trapped in a fog. You may have constant self-doubt, trouble making decisions, find yourself apologizing for everything, and walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting the other person.

Silence and isolation are your only options because when you do speak up, you get ridiculed. Over time, many victims feel depressed, turn to substances to cope, or shut down emotionally.

Triangulation: The Third-Party Manipulation

Another tactic narcissists use is triangulation, which is when they bring a third person into the conflict to control communication and create division. They pit you against the others to isolate you further. The narcissist may recruit friends, family, or flying monkeys to take their side. They often position themselves as the victim while shifting the blame onto you. As a result, you feel unsupported, outnumbered, and very confused.

The Games Narcissists Play-

Narcissists use a predictable set of tactics, including gaslighting, love bombing, ghosting, triangulation, playing the victim, and revenge. These tactics are designed to exhaust you, confuse you, and ultimately control you.

Why Empaths Are Targeted-

If you are emotionally intelligent, empathetic, and compassionate, you’re often a prime target. Narcissists are drawn to people who give and forgive. Unfortunately, this makes empaths more likely to stay in unhealthy relationships, giving endlessly while the narcissist takes without remorse.

Safeguarding Yourself

If this sounds familiar, you are not imagining things. You are not crazy. This is real, and it’s damaging. There are steps that you can begin to take. First, recognize the patterns. Naming the behavior takes away some of its power. Journal your experiences. Writing down events helps you track reality when you are being told otherwise. Seek Support. Talk with trusted friends, family, or a coach/therapist who understands narcissistic abuse. Set boundaries.

You do not have to engage with every manipulation tactic. Reclaim your truth. Your emotions and experiences are valid. Home should feel safe, not like a battlefield—your light matters. Your truth matters. The more you learn to spot these tactics, the stronger you become at safeguarding yourself from them.