Letting Go to Grow

This post was written by Ashley Berges

I’ve learned to let go of the things that no longer benefit me in my life. It has taken a lifetime to understand the thought process to metaphorically clean house. I began realizing years ago that friendships and relationships change and some don’t necessarily last. Some of our relationships are here for a season, a season in time. Other relationships are here for the long haul however in the evolution of the relationship many things can change. When we allow ourselves to be fluid within our relationships, we can be the teacher, the student, the helper, the inspiration, and even the caregiver.

On the flip side some relationships aren’t pushing us in a good way, they aren’t impacting our purpose positively, and to some degree they are holding us back. These relationships had a purpose but no longer serve a constructive purpose. When it comes to these particular relationships, find and expand on a new commonality or move on, spending less time together frees up more time to meet other people going the same direction as you. We change and our perspective and direction change, and when we’ve made a clear lasting change we must walk the walk and talk the talk.

The more authentic and real we become the more authentic and real our friends need to be. The more truth and understanding resides in your life the more it needs to reside in the people you spend your time. When we care about our life and care about being honest, we have a difficult time spending time with those who overlook honesty and haven’t found their truth. It’s not about judgement it’s about honesty. When a person is not ready to be honest with them self their is nothing you can do. You can only focus on yourself and your own honesty. We can’t change people, we can impress others, inspire others, but we can’t change them. To change others would be antithetical to authentic living. However when we do by example, we can inspire others to live more fulfilling lives.

Besides reevaluating our relationships, a good next step is to let go of old ways of thinking. Old ways of thinking tends to hold us back. We tend to be limited in our beliefs and limited in our ability per our thoughts. When we examine our thoughts, we must find the thinking that doesn’t hold value. Often the thinking that holds you back or the “negative broken record” that resides in your head is what takes you away from living your purpose. Often the negative broken record judges and states comments about our inability, our shortcomings, and our failures. It’s not until we inspect this “negative broken record” to realize why we self-sabotage and why we are scared of success and our future work. When we let go of the old ways of thinking and begin to stop finding self-fault, we begin to live a much happier and healthier life. In addition, when we begin to substitute forward positive thinking in place of the negative record, we reap big personal rewards. Just as important as letting go of the old ways of thinking is letting go of the old habits we hold onto.

Some say that old habits die hard and they may, however until we are ready to let go of our old habits, we are unable to fully succeed. Often the old habits are holding us down. What’s holding you back in life? What habits are keeping you in the old way of thinking? Often our old habits keep us from being fully authentic and real. With regards to any habit that doesn’t make you better, it’s time to reevaluate the necessity of the habit. I quit smoking several years back because the habit took control of my life. I was constantly thinking of smoking and spent a large portion of my day outside. This habit was counterproductive in my growth and got in the way of my work and social life. Are you currently holding onto a habit that is getting in the way of a positive purpose driven lifestyle? Are you ready to find ways to let it go and move on with your life? Just the very ability to accept that you want to make a change is profound on your mind and heart. The next hurdle is taking steps to cut the habit out of your life.

Last but not least, once you’ve let these relationships, thoughts, and habits go, it’s time to see you for you. See the magnificence of you, your unique qualities. When we begin to embrace our self we begin to find love for our self. That self love is at our hierarchy of needs. Once you are able to love thy self you are able to do anything. This love is not narcissistic, it’s genuine respect and love for your body and soul. We come in this world on our own and leave on our own. And when we accept that, and realize getting to know ourself is paramount, we can begin to find the things within us that propel us forward. We then realize the power we possess and how we can be more powerful by moving past that which is in our life that is no longer working.

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