It’s 2015. We’ve got Tinder. We’ve got Match. But do we have romance?
By: Ashley Berges
Life is distracting. Technology is supposed to make things easier, but a lot of times, it just makes us blind to anything that doesn’t fit on our cell phone screen. We all long for romance: that kiss in the rain, can’t eat, can’t sleep movie-type love. But we’re busy. We spend our time maintaining all of the day-to-day stuff like our jobs and our friendships, and when we have these isolated over-the-top theatrical moments, we rightfully assume that’s what romance feels like. What’s harder to see is that it’s also present even when the champagne isn’t flowing.
I used to define romance and want it to appear is such a specific way that it limited my chances to experience it. But that has changed for me. The other day, my husband had been out of town for a few days. When he flew in we met at the Whole Foods off Lemmon. Inside, we found what we wanted to make for dinner, laughed, caught up on the week, and then walked outside to put the bags in my car.
He gave me a hug that started off short, but then the minutes built, and it grew into a long moment. In the past, I wouldn’t have realized how amazing it truly was. I would have given him a quick hug, gotten in the car, and raced home. Instead, I genuinely allowed myself to feel the moment. The backdrop, location, and amenities don’t matter. More than anything, they might actually get in the way. If we can see past the backdrop and the “time” we’re supposed to feel romance, we can feel it more often. We tend to discredit moments that feel ordinary, but I’d like to propose that these are the most romantic of all.
When we allow our narrow definitions to move aside we live in a new reality, which offers spontaneity, honesty, and the realization that the backdrop is less important than the company. Romance is what we make of it, being in the moment is up to us, and our ability to treasure every moment is within. It’s time to live, laugh, and feel the love.
Ashley Berges is a Dallas-based life coach, family therapist, and syndicated radio talk show host of Perspectives with Ashley Berges, which can be heard on 570 AM KLIF and 660AM KKSY. She has written three books; her most recent is The 10-Day Challenge to Live Your True Life. Visit her website atwww.ashleyberges.com.
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Written for D Magazine: http://www.dmagazine.com/nightlife/relationship-advice/is-romance-still-alive