How to overcome shyness and meet new people

This post was written by Ashley Berges

How to overcome shynessMost of us want to meet new people, and the idea of making new friends and possibly meeting the love of our life are compelling but it can be scary to put yourself out there. When we’re shy, we feel as if we can’t talk, feel like others are watching us, judging us, and we seem to possess an overall feeling of anxiety and stress in social situations. There are specific things, you can do, to better your chances at meeting new people. No matter how shy you are, it helps to have a Wingman or Wingwoman to be there with you. Think about it! I’m a pretty out-going, extroverted person and even I get a little overwhelmed when I enter a room with hundreds of people, know nobody, and everyone seems to be separated into small groups or two-by-two. I’ve realized that when you have a wingman or wingwoman, there’s more conversation, it’s not all about you, and you can defer the conversation and let others participate, meaning you don’t have to do all the work. This works out well until your friend can’t go to the event with you and you’re heading to an event solo. In the case of going solo, it’s all about attitude.

Our attitude and our thoughts create our world. When we think the world is a scary place, the world is a scary place. Same goes for fitting in and meeting new people. When you walk into a place/event, there’s a large group, and everyone is in groups or coupled off, it then comes down to initially feeling like you are winning or feeling defeated. I’ve walked into situations with one or the other attitude, and with the defeated attitude, I should have stayed home and not wasted my time. We can talk ourselves out of fitting in. Mindset for meeting new people: Know and believe you are a good person, you are someone others want to know, and you listen to others. A quick positive life mantra prior to entering the room is a must. Something to the effect of: I’m happy, I’m a good listener, I meet all the right people, and I will meet some wonderful people tonight and I will have fun and enjoy myself. Repeating this a few times can go a long way to creating the proper mindset to enter any social situation solo and come out a winner. (A winner: a person who participates, accomplishes life goals, and works daily to cut out the inner chatter that causes self-doubt.)

These techniques work wonders and can be used in other facets of your life to achieve happiness and clarity. However in the beginning, if you are shy, choosing the right places to meet folks in Dallas can go a long way to feeling secure within and can allow you to branch out. I visited a few places around town, clients also tell me places they like and feel comfortable, and I will share those particulars now. In Dallas, The Old Monk is a fun bar that allows for easy meeting, it’s not pretentious, and allows for an intimate setting. The Lark on the Park is a fun restaurant and small bar scene that allows for conversation, not too loud, and not too packed. Anytime you go to an event and their’s an announced commonality it can be easier to begin conversations. However, it’s just as easy to be observant and find ways to begin conversations that others want to participate.

When you’re shy, the louder a place can be, sometimes the more helpful but often it’s too overpowering, making it difficult to talk. When you are picking events or places, remember what best suits you. Are you into intimate places or more convention center sized events. If you’re planning to attend a social meeting, fashion show, or open happy hour, bring a friend, bring a positive attitude, and remember you are not alone. The majority of people are shy and feel anxious in social situations, with that said, walking over to people and saying hi could be the life preserver they need.


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