How to make anger work for you now.

This post was written by Ashley Berges

How to make anger work for you now.How to make anger work for you, and stop allowing others to have power over you!

Stop allowing others to have power over you!

Anger is an emotion that relates to one’s psychological interpretation of having been offended, overpowered, wronged or denied and a tendency to react through retaliation.  When we are offended, overpowered, wronged or denied, we get angry.  For many of us, we get angry because we are good people that aren’t going to slug it out.  If we were to have no conscious, we would feel no anger, get even, and move on.  There are obvious layers and levels of anger depending on the situation.  Annoyance is the beginning, when someone annoys us by their behavior, action, or non-action; we work to level ourselves internally by taking deep breaths and working to let it go.  The level after annoyance is anger and when we are pushed to anger, we are dealing with something far worse than something that only annoys us.  When we are pushed to anger, it is usually due to someone that is doing something directly wrong to us.  When someone is doing something direct and deliberate, we are hurt, upset, and we begin to feel the urge to fight for what’s right and when we choose to take the high ground, and not fight, internal anger prevails.


Anger is that emotion, we feel, when someone has pushed us with force to some sort of personal limit.  Because we support our conscious and choose to not fight back, that anger festers and grows.  In order to slow down the growing process of anger, we must do something immediately with the anger.  When anger is not dealt with properly, it can morph into internal issues.  The first symptoms are back pain, chest pain, and random bodily pain.  In order to stop the pain or prevent it from happening, you must learn how to use anger correctly.  Everyone has thought, even for a split second, about punching the person that has wronged you and internally acknowledging how great it would initially feel.  We realize that the initial force would feel better but the action truly wouldn’t make one feel better over time.  When you are truly conscious, you realize those urges, you can laugh at them, and you know you won’t act on your urges.  Even though that person has it coming to them, it doesn’t mean you are the person to give it to them.


Just because you choose to not fight the same way doesn’t mean you are allowing this person to walk all over you.  Being a person of strength and personal control, you value your ability to demonstrate leadership, strength, and to preserve your positive lifestyle and block the negative.  In the process of working to successfully block the negative, you can feel as if you are swallowing the anger you feel inside, due to the situation that took place, and that it was a direct hit toward you.  You can use anger positively to bring about change in your life and to pull power from the people that misuse their power.  When someone does something that seriously angers you, this means they are acting in a personal strike against you, acknowledge the anger immediately.  Usually your anger runs deep because the person is acting sneaky and deliberate with their power play.  Begin by recognizing where the anger resides inside of you.  Does it begin as an immediate headache, back pain, or a pit in the stomach?


Once you have taken inventory, begin to do some deep breathing.  Breathe in and out slowly and deliberately for at least two solid minutes.  As you breathe in and out slowly and deliberately, you begin visualizing the negativity and manipulation moving away from you and returning back to the giver.  Next identify the personal value that this person is walking all over and visualize what that value means to you.  Is this person threatening your freedom, security, or justice?  Once you realize the direct correlation to your core values and the value cross by the other person, you can then realize how to get back what has been taken away from you.  Side note: Martin Luther King fought for justice and respect for all.


For the most part, a person being antithetical to you by being defiantly disrespectful derives anger.  The disrespect is the launch of internal anger and you want to be made whole again.  In order to be made whole, you must use your core and your mind to propel you ahead of your anger and ahead of the game.  In order to jump ahead of the value assailant, you must know your values, live by them, and enforce them to support others as well as your self.  If you are fighting the good fight to preserve freedom, justice, or security, you are in the right and the attacker is mentally skewed, and either they don’t realize what they are doing or they are doing it on purpose.


Some anger dissipates when you find out the person wasn’t of the knowledge that they had caused you pain and suffering.  If you are able to determine the opposite, and know that they are well aware of what they are trying to do, you then have more mental ammunition.  Realize too, if someone is causing you pain on purpose, they are scared or intimidated by you.  When people go after good, positive, and likeable people and take pot shots, they are doing that out of a fear based response.  There are certain people that you can reason with, but when someone takes it to a personal level and zeros you out, you then realize that reason won’t help this particular situation.  Reason only works when all people involved are reasonable.  If one person is acting out of fear, power, and/or as a scare tactic, you must look toward other means of dissolving this unsavory situation.  Remember if you act correctly, you will stop this person from doing this to others.  Is this person a bully that must be put in their place?  If so, what “place” do we, as the affected, put them in and how?


Remembering that personal anger shouldn’t guide your path of action, you must remain clearheaded and activate your anger to organize and power up others in your good fight.  If you are in the right, when you explain your situation, others will listen and offer to help because they too value what you value. You have power as a conscious individual and you have power with other conscious like-minded individuals.  Keep up the good work and remember that in this situation, you don’t want to lower your self to being an aggressor and you don’t want to be the victim.  There is a place in the middle that allows you to keep your values and allows others to hear you.

How to make anger work for you, and stop allowing others to have power over you!


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One Response

  1. takeadayon says:

    Great post, Ashley. Sometimes I don’t know where my anger comes from. it’s one of those emotions that seems so powerful and yet so often it is just an uncontrolled impulse that as you say is a reaction to protect some part of us that we feel was threatened.