Have they Really Changed? It is Real Change or Just Words?

This post was written by Rhonda Wasserman

Original content by Ashley Berges

“I have changed”. Two words we hope to hear from our significant other. We want to believe these words, but are they for real? How can we be sure they have changed this time?

What does it mean when someone makes real changes? Let’s look at some indications that prove someone has changed.

1. The first indication of change is that they ask you how you feel. There is genuine interest in your feelings and thoughts. They are interested and ask thoughtful questions.

2.  The second indication is that they are not quick to be defensive. As a result, they begin to look at how they are responsible for situations and their actions.

3.  The third indication that your significant other has changed is that they are sincerely remorseful and feel bad about issues that have occurred in the past. Hence, the past events can be talked about without blaming others or victimizing themselves. 

4.  The fourth indication is that they are changing for themselves and not for you. You can see them evolving and changing and becoming a more self-aware person.

5.  Being open to feedback and suggestions is another indication of real change. In the past, they may have gotten defensive or angry when you made suggestions. Now they can see how your suggestions may benefit both of your lives. 

6.  The sixth indication is that actions speak louder than words. We can see that it is more than words, their actions are changing to back up what they have said.

7.  They are not repeating the same mistakes and patterns. They have become more self-aware of not repeating these things. As a result, there is no need to apologize for doing the same things repeatedly. You realize they are changing when you see their remorse for mistakes, even when they have fallen back into some of the old patterns. Consequently, your significant other is seeing their responsibility for making the change. 

8.  True change takes time and consistency. The person must be willing to dedicate the time and be consistent. If you can see these changes, you have someone in your life that is making changes and in time has changed.

When someone becomes more self-aware, responsible, and can start realizing their responsibility and the impact their actions have on others, they begin to make the changes. As a result, it creates more self-awareness and the ability to be more consistent in the change.

Watch the entire video here:

Comment through Facebook