Original content by Ashley Berges
Does it feel like you care a lot more than your partner in the relationship? Do you feel empty or hollow? Does it feel like you ask them questions but they rarely ask you any in return? You could be in a relationship with a narcissist or someone who has a lot of narcissistic tendencies.
Often, when in a relationship with someone with narcissistic tendencies you may feel hollow. The relationship does not feel very solid. We are bringing a lot to the table and it feels as though they are not bringing much in return.
When speaking with a narcissist, or the narcissist is speaking to you or for that matter, at you, it almost feels as though they talk about themselves but very rarely do they ask you how you are doing. They rarely seem concerned with your health and well-being. This can happen whether you are in person, on the phone or even texting each other. It seems to be consistent across the board. It feels hollow because you may be texting them, asking how they are doing, and their replies are short and simple. They do not ask you questions as to how you are doing.
Sometimes you may be on a phone call with someone who is narcissistic in nature. They may be talking the entire time, but when it comes to you trying to get a word in it’s time for them to get off the phone. This can leave you feeling hollow, it does not feel like it is two ways. One person can communicate how they feel while the other cannot get a word in edge-wise. Unlike a normal conversation where both people can communicate, asking questions and sharing what is going on in their lives.
When you finally get to share something or if you are sick and saying how you feel physically, the narcissist becomes toxically positive, telling you it all will be ok, you need to keep going and think more positively. On the other hand, if they don’t feel well you have to cater to them hand and foot. Constantly checking on them and asking how they are feeling. It is not a two-way street. It is very one-sided.
When you are dealing with a narcissistic relationship, there are no apologies. If there is an apology it is like a backhanded slap. You tend to ask yourself, what have you done to deserve this treatment? The narcissist tells you that you take things too seriously, or you take things out of context. The narcissist may also say that they are sorry you feel that way. Often when they say this it only angers you more. It is a very rude comment. Not only have they done something to you, they have done it, and then they say they are sorry you feel that way! With this, they have now gotten you twice.
When we look at all this “stuff” it creates a weird reality that we are stuck in a weird relationship with someone who does not apologize for anything, and if they do they are going to bring you in on it. For example, you come home to a house that is blown up in pieces. You ask if they blew up the house, and they say yes but also blame you for doing something as well. No matter how bad whatever they have done, if they do apologize it will be a weak apology and they will pull you in on something that you have done as well.
Eventually, you can see what the narcissist is doing. Many of you have lived with this your entire life, your parents were like this. You then went on to find friends like this and a partner that is just like this. It causes you to wonder why you feel so alone and that most of your relationships are hollow. Sometimes when you are around a lot of people who have the signs and symptoms of narcissism you begin to feel very lonely. It feels as though you are your only friend and everyone else only interacts when they feel like it. Sometimes the relationship is a convenience thing for the narcissist, coming around when they need something. Over time you have come to accept it and go along with it.
We need to understand how being in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic traits can make us feel hollow. If you are feeling like you are in this type of relationship with some of these signs you could be in a relationship with someone who has a lot of narcissistic tendencies. It is important to look at the relationship for what it is. It is important to understand these relationships and not expect too much from the other person. You do not have to leave these types of relationships, but be aware and begin to make new relationships and find people who care as much as you do.
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