Do you Speak my Love Language?

This post was written by Rhonda Wasserman

Original content by Ashley Berges

Everyone feels love differently. Understanding what love language you speak will be powerful.

When we understand how we feel love, we can communicate that to others.  As a result, the people that are important in our lives learn how to love us the right way.

Dr. Gary Chapman created the Five Love Languages.  Being able to understand them and identify the ones we use will be very helpful in the way we give and receive love.

Words of Affirmation

The first love language is words of affirmation.  Words such as “I Love you,” verbal encouragement, and written encouragement fall into this category.  Using text and social media to send a message can be very meaningful to someone whose love language is affirmations.  If this is your love language, when someone does this, these words make you feel good, alive, and highly connected to that special person.

Quality Time

Quality time means enjoying spending time with that special person.  One-on-one, the special connection of being together, and being in the moment are examples of quality time.  This time demonstrates to us that the other person cares enough to want to spend time with us.  This directly connects with our love language, showing that you have value to them.

Acts of Service

When someone goes out of their way to do things for you, it is considered an act of service.  These acts make our lives easier.  When someone does something for us such as run an errand or pick things up, these acts mean a lot to us.  It proves that we are being listened to, they care and will be there for us.


Gifts are physical symbols of love.  The gifts do not have to be expensive or outrageous.  It is more about the meaning behind the gift.  Thought has gone into the purchase.  Receiving a gift like this makes us feel thought about, and we can feel the meaning behind the gift.

Physical Touch

Physical touch includes holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, and having sex.  These gestures go a long way for people.  It makes them feel loved, cared for, and nurtured.

Interestingly, both you and your significant other can speak different love languages.  Our love languages are influenced by our upbringing and the way we were shown love.  However, these languages can also be a result of how we did not receive love. Mom may have used words of affirmation to build us up, and develop our self-esteem.  On the other hand, we may have had love withheld. No one told us they loved us or gave us the physical touch we deserved.When we view love language, we need to look at what we had and what was missing. It is important to realize that our love language may or may not be what we received in the family dynamic

It is possible to feel as though you have more than one love language.  We need to find our number one love language, the one that resonates the most with us.  Discovering this will enable us to understand what we need to show ourselves, love.  Follow the link to take the love language quiz to figure out which love language connects to your heart: In the meantime, think about how the different love languages make us feel and what effect they have had on us throughout our lives.

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