On Big Rich Texas, Kalyn, my client and I begin with discussing the here and now. In order for me, the life coach, to understand what is occurring in a client’s life, I must obtain the information by listening with intent to my client on what is truly happening in their life, and the emotions and feelings they are currently dealing with. I’m then able to begin to spot, then identify, and ultimately define any issues that are reoccurring in there. These reoccurring issues always relate back to something that happened at an earlier age and the way the child, the adult now interrupted it and dealt with the situation. Often, when we are children a situation takes place, and we try to cope, but at that age we usually bury the issue instead of dealing with it effectively. For example, women who have a rift with their father usually have issues around finding a suitable man, keeping a suitable man, and/or not falling for the ‘bad boy’ over and over again.
Because this situation is on television, I can discuss the situation. Because, I DO NOT discuss private client information, the only reason this information exists is because it is airing on prime time TV. Otherwise I DO NOT discuss confidential client information ever. You see Kalyn and my first session shown as bonus material on Style.com. In real life, I am meeting Kalyn for the first time. I purposefully didn’t view any previous episodes of Big Rich Texas. I didn’t want to have any preconceived thoughts or ideas going into our meeting. It is about her interruptions and feelings not others and not my vision of her. With all clients, I walk in for the first time, with an open mind, and ready to get to the heart of the matter as soon as the time is right.
An accomplished life coach intuitively knows the person sitting in front of them and usually shares some sort of familiar history. For the most part, coaches usually don’t share information in fear that they will look lesser, but I think that’s a rookie mistake. In order to help others, you must show without a doubt, you too are human, and you too have made ‘bad’ choices that you have moved past with truth and lasting understanding.
In the first meeting, comfort and honesty is established and is the standard. In order for real breakthrough to occur the client must be comfortable, feel safe, and be honest when discussing past situations and honest about their true feelings of the situations. Without honesty there is nothing. Kalyn discussed how her and her dad hadn’t spoken in years and how she had let him and her stepmother down. She knew that he loved her and cared about her and she wished she could take back what had happened in the past and start over again. We’ve all experienced a life situation that we wish we could take back or erase but life doesn’t work that way. Instead, we must deal with the situation, decide with knowledge how to make the situation better, and how to truly understand and effectively deal with our feelings and our underlining emotions.
When dealing with a situation that we have been contemplating for a length of time, the length of contemplation sometimes causes one to feel and be immobilized and stuck. Because we keep the issue locked up in our mind, we don’t know the correct action and direction to take. In order to make the right decision in a situation that has lots of variables, one must move the thought out of the mind and onto paper or to communicate the situation out loud. For the most part, their are situations that you don’t want your friends knowing about and you want to keep the information protected but still must get it out of your mind and into clear reasoning. A licensed and highly trained life coach must keep your information confidential and is able to see things with no judgment and clear perspective.
In this specific situation, Kalyn misses her father, she wants to see him again, and she wants to make up for the past. The stress and anxiety that Kalyn is experiencing stems from the inability to know where to begin. In any situation of this magnitude, all parties aren’t completely innocent. Even though Kalyn had done some things she was upset and embarrassed about that hurt her father and stepmother, the rest of the family carries some blame as well. Since that is usually the case that everyone did something they aren’t completely at peace with, putting all the blame on one’s self is overboard and misappropriated.
When reconnecting with a family member, or anyone for that matter, you have to be ready to be honest about your feelings and emotions, and you must come clean with what happened in the past and why you are there or calling now. Before you wait too long, you must make the call to reconnect and open the lines of communication. For more information on this specific: https://www.ashleyberges.com/how-to-quickly-regain-a-relationship-with-your-father/