Are you happy?
Wish 3 Part B:
Several clients have voiced the wish for beginning a career at an earlier age and wishing success had come earlier as well. This is the: could have, should have, and would have wish with regards to societal outward successes. All humans understand the want and desire to choose a successful path and to stick with it.
It seems that many people in our lives are mirrors in one way or another. We have friends that went to school, graduated with honors, and are doing what they received their degree in and loving it. We get to see their successes and sometimes wish we had that as well. We also have others in our lives that are on the opposite side of the coin. These are our friends that remind us of the guests on the Jerry Springer show. We think, but never say, I’m glad my life is better than that person. Throughout our entire life we have friends that are mega successful that seem to have it all and we have friends that seem to not have anything going on and look up to you.
Having success in one’s career is a human right of passage. The need for career success is engrained in us as humans beginning with our family, throughout our schooling, and all through our lives. If you aren’t doing what you love and successful at doing it, you feel lesser of a person. You wonder why you hadn’t started earlier. I like to refer to this feeling and placement as: Behind the 8Ball.
Being behind the 8ball is just that, you feel like your life is an uphill battle. Perhaps you began college late, didn’t go, screwed around and partied while others were graduating, and you are now doing what others did, just years after them. Perhaps you started a family early and had to go back to school, so while others your same age are on a solid career track and making good money doing it, you are just now getting out of school and trying to land that first job in your dream field and working another job to pay the bills. Some people have never worked a job they liked and always do what they do because of the money, the convenience, it’s an easy living, or they think it’s too late to pursue their true passion. There are other people that still don’t know what they want to do in life and ponder it on a daily basis wondering if they will ever know what makes them truly happy and will they figure it out before they die. What about the people entering the work force after years of not working because they were raising a family? No matter the reason for feeling behind, it’s an overwhelming feeling and the wish is that you could make up for lost time.
The wish that you had gone to college right out of high school and started on a career causes many people to get angry with them self.
If the person had to put their school plans on hold due to family and child responsibilities they can feel resentment toward those individuals. Resentment and anger towards our self and others are not positive emotions, not creative emotions, and serve no purpose but self-punishment and internal self-sabotaging.