Are you losing sleep at night?
Do you lay in bed with your mind racing?
Are you constantly thinking about a specific situation in your life that’s causing you stress and headache and wondering what to do about it?
Are you telling everyone you come into contact with about a specific person or situation you are dealing with?
If you have answered YES to any or all of these questions, you need to make changes to your life immediately. If you think the situation will just go away, you know that’s not going to happen. You know from trial and error in the past, that problems/situations only get worse, and you become more unhappy & angry with yourself and the situation.
When we turn on the TV or open a magazine, we see the people we know who need to make major changes, in their lives. Lindsey Lohan comes to mind when discussing doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. (If children in a spelling bee were asked to spell the word insanity, and a child asked the judge for a definition prior to spelling, the judge could hold up a picture of Lindsey Lohan and make the definition crystal clear.) We see her and realize she has real problems that only she can change. Without life changes, she may end up in jail, more rehabs, or dead. Some of us are dealing with issues on that level but most of us aren’t, were just unhappy, or not getting out of life what we want and know we can have.
The definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Areas of Life that may need changing:
- Job path
- Business relationship(s)
- Changing/moving to a different city, state, or country
- The “Friend(s)” we spend our time
- Personal/Romantic Relationship(s)
Making the initial change is the most difficult part to overcome. Change can seem overwhelming and instead of doing anything to change it, we sulk, get angry, and/or just bitch to anyone who will listen.
Because we get comfortable in the most uncomfortable situations, we choose to hold off change in hopes that things will change and get better. In life we deal with other people’s moods, emotional highs and lows, passive aggressive attitudes, life changes, life stressors, etc. Because we are all human, we are dealing with human needs, emotions, and feelings. Sometimes, we get bogged down in other people’s feelings and emotions. That leads to consciously not wanting to rock the boat or hurt another’s feelings. Sadly, this course of action only begins to rip you apart internally and causes you much internal anger because you haven’t made the appropriate changes.
When people find themselves in jobs they don’t like or they know there is no potential for growth, instead of looking for another, we tend to get complacent and sometimes beaten down by life, because we wonder who would want us, who would hire us, and it would be foolish to begin a new career at this age. The other side of the ledger: I’m going to be miserable for the rest of my life, I will always be unhappy, I will never move up in this company, and/or I will always be mentally and emotionally beaten up by this boss. This is the, I Deserve Pain thought process. This is complete insanity at it’s best. Instead, you have the power to make the changes needed in your life. You deserve what you believe you deserve.
The Berges 7: The keys 2 making life changes now:
- Are you happy? Ask yourself honestly. Think through every segment of your life, if something needs changing you know it, don’t lie to yourself!
- Are you constantly discussing with your friends or anyone who will listen about a particular person or situation in your life that’s bothering you? If so, what is it? What can you do about it to change it?
- You know what needs to change! Write down what needs to change and write down what it is that you are going to do to change it. If you hate your job and you are going nowhere, you have to get off your butt, quit with the complacency, and begin looking for a better happier job. Getting past being complacent is a difficult concept for lots of us. We are scared of change because the unknown frightens us.
- Are you leaving change up to others? Are you allowing others to push their choices upon you no matter your feelings, beliefs, and desires? This is a biggie! Instead of making waves, enemies, or not wishing to hurt another’s feelings, we allow others to tell us what we are going to do. That only causes internal wars. You’re no longer fighting the situation and them, but now you are also fighting yourself. This may be a mental fight but we know from anyone that has been in a real street fight that fighting one person is much easier than fighting two people, especially when one of those people is you!
- You can still stand up for yourself. Even if you have allowed others to make your changes for you-you can still stand up for yourself now. However, time is of the essence. The longer you wait the more difficult the change becomes. More emotions come to play and after a long time, you will realize that you have wasted a lot of good years in a loosing situation. Usually you are the one to take it the hardest and the others can just walk away leaving you holding the proverbial “wasted time bag” that you cannot get back.
- You must find worthiness in yourself to make necessary changes to better yourself and your life.
- If something is no longer working, stop holding on to it! If you are looking for something new to replace what’s not working, you must tie up the loose ends with what’s not working, before properly moving onto what may work. When we try to hold onto the old & (non-working) familiar, you won’t find what will work. We must make a real, honest, & mature decision to give the new decision our all. One foot in and one foot out won’t help anyone or any situation. When we waver, our new choices won’t come to fruition as we have hoped and/or believed.
The Berges 7 can be used with regards to any situation needing to be changed. When it comes to your success, happiness, safety, and/or future, you must make the necessary changes to your life to ensure these things for you. Remember, if you are unhappy, you aren’t doing anyone around you any good. Unhappiness with regards to any aspect of our life creates and manifests problems in the rest of our life.
We as humans are always discussing about changing the world to make it a better place and doing this or that for whatever reason. However, we rarely think of ourselves when it comes to change.
Leo Tolstoy said it right when he said:
*I realize our world is far from perfect, and I know that valuable changes will be made by many of you who are reading this blog right now!
For more information on the Berges 7 and being a Change Maker, listen to the June 9, 2013 Episode of Perspectives with Ashley Berges at: https://www.ashleyberges.com/radio-show/
Coming this week, Perspectives TV Episode 5: The Grass is Greener, is dealing with Insanity vs. Change, When is it time to make a change? View the TV episode & all other episodes here: https://www.ashleyberges.com/media-page/perspectives-tv/
And on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/user/AshleyBerges