Self-Doubt, False Narratives, and Questioning one’s Value

This post was written by Rhonda Wasserman

Original content by Ashley Berges

Are you aware that false narratives can occur in a relationship with your spouse? These false narratives can cause us to question ourselves, our value, and keep us in a toxic relationship. We stay in these relationships out of our fear that no one else will love us. 

We hear about false narratives in the news all the time. These false narratives also happen in our households. Sometimes we may be dealing with a partner that uses false narratives to make us feel sad, fearful, and trapped.

One example of a false narrative is when someone keeps telling you that you have no one and that they are the only person you can count on. They lead you to believe that without them you are completely alone. This narrative causes us to cling more to them. It also makes us question our other relationships, wondering if they are not good relationships.

Another false narrative is telling us that we have no friends and no one likes us.

When we hear these false narratives repeatedly, we tend to believe them. Humans tend to believe the negative much quicker than the positive.

Do you question your value? Do you question if your partner is telling you the truth? Does this cause you to wonder if you are mean and abusive? Is someone you know using false narratives on you?

Often, false narratives are created so that the other person can take the burden off themselves. Another name for this is deflection. Hearing the same thing over and over makes it feel like a beating to us. We lose what little self-worth we still possess. We ultimately come to fully accept the false narrative. As a result, we start to depend on the other person more and more, resulting in co-dependency

Next, we must answer the question, why do we believe the false narrative? For us to not believe the false narrative we must know who we are. We are trained to believe false narratives our whole life Many of us have been told the same narratives about ourselves throughout childhood. We hold onto these narratives. It hits home when our significant other tells us something hurtful that makes us question our value.

It is important to realize that we are programmed to believe false narratives. We need to understand that false narratives and believing them result from our upbringing and how we are raised with false narratives.  We are self-sabotaging when we continue to believe the false narrative

The only way out of believing the false narratives is to understand who we are. We need to understand what defines us, our values, and our ethics. Most of us do not understand who we are. The false narratives become easy to accept because we do not know the truth. 

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