Don’t Lose Your Identity by Taking on Others’ Issues

This post was written by Rhonda Wasserman

Original content by Ashley Berges

It is time to take a deep dive into what you want. Not what everyone else wants but what you want. We are so busy taking on other people’s issues, or perhaps we are co-dependent, taking care of another person’s every whim, that it is difficult for us to figure out what we want or need. 

We may feel like we do not have a purpose or that we are not enough. Often, we may not know who we are because we have not asked ourselves the big questions. What do we want in life? What do we want out of life? These are big questions that often get swept under the rug because we are too busy taking care of others. Consequently, it is easier to see the flaws or the things that need to be changed in someone else’s life than our own. 

We tend to lose our sense of self the more we concentrate on other people. The more we lose what is important to us, the more we do not feel fulfilled in our own life. As a result, the only fulfillment we have is when we are taking care of someone else. How do we change this? 

Many of us are in this position. Hence, we do not know what we want. We need to begin to ask ourselves, are we happy? Are there some things we can do to feel more content? Are there things in life that we want to do that we have not done yet? Do we spend time on others when we could be spending it on ourselves? 

These questions are important because they allow us to realize the big thing, that we are multi-dimensional. We are deep thoughtful beings that deserve to think about ourselves. Take some time and think about your life. Who takes up the most time in your life? Do your relationships bringing you happiness? Are these relationships helpful? Are these relationships creating value in your life? 

Many people tend to lose themselves and their identity because they are trying to help everyone else. After all, that is the way most of us are raised. Trying to get out of the co-dependency and focus on what we want is very valuable. Even if we just take ten minutes a day to have “me time,” to think about what we need and what we want, and be able to encourage and motivate ourselves, will be a step in the right direction. 

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