Original content by Ashley Berges
Many of us have been raised by narcissistic parents. We may not even be aware of how much of an impact that has had on our lives. If a narcissistic parent or parents have raised you, it impacts you greatly. As an adult, we are left dealing with it. Being able to look at the signs to see if our parents fall into these categories is going to be very helpful to understand and illuminate the situation as well as making clear a lot of choices that we have made and understood some of the things that we are currently dealing with in our life right now.
Let’s dive deeper into 19 possible signs that our parent or parents are narcissists.
The first sign is that they are constantly need the conversation to be about them. They are self-centered and like to hold court.
The second sign is that their child, is a source of their validation. They flaunt their children as their successes.They will talk about you and brag about us all the time as long as we are doing things that make them look good.
The third indication is immature and selfish behavior. It is all about them. They have a very childish emotional state and very low emotional EQ. They have difficulty understanding what you are feeling because they have little empathy.
The fourth indication is that they are emotionally reactive. They tend to shame their child’s emotions. They find reasons to halt their child’s emotions but they can react and show their emotions anytime they want.
The fifth indication is that they brag about the achievements of their children, but rarely acknowledge those achievements directly to their children. They tell everyone about their children because it makes them look good, but when it comes to telling their children directly, it never happens.
The sixth indication is that narcissistic parents constantly put their needs first. Their needs are the most important. They expect everyone to sacrifice for them. They feel that we are all here to help them.
The seventh indication is how important it is for the narcissistic parent to be well-liked and important to others. People think they are the life of the party, but behind closed doors, it’s a completely different story. They are controlling, manipulative, and cruel sometimes.
The eighth indication is that they can make you feel bad for not doing what they want immediately. If you are not doing what they want you to do they are going to find reasons to make you feel bad, break you down, and eventually you will do what they wanted you to do in the beginning.
The ninth indication is that they make us feel guilty for not doing something for them, and mentioning all the things that they have done for us. Remember that if they do something for us, they will use it against us later to get something they want.
The tenth indication is that they can be very opinionated when they are at home. In front of other people, they put on the charm. The outside world thinks they are an amazing person, having never seen the other side of them.
The eleventh indication of a narcissistic parent is poor boundaries whether they interact with you or not. Out of sight out of mind, but once they think of you, they need to get in touch with you immediately. Another indication of poor boundaries is talking about things that are not very supportive of a parent, such as your weight.
The twelfth indication is that being around this type of energy makes us anxious and on edge. Our confidence gets lowered because we just don’t feel comfortable, this type of energy drains us.
The thirteenth indication is that the narcissistic parent seems to be absent from many of our life events.
The fourteenth indication is making you get involved with things that you do not want to do. They get you involved in things that they want you to be involved with. You do it because that is what they want, it has nothing to do with what you want.
The fifteenth indication is that they do not provide a nurturing environment. We do not feel fulfilled or taken care of emotionally. Sometimes it feels as though you are fending for yourself, when, you really were.
The sixteenth indication is that the narcissistic parent can play favorites. There is a golden child or a black sheep in the family. This situation divides the family.
The seventeenth indication is that when you need time and attention from the narcissistic parent, they just can’t be bothered. They do not want to be annoyed or dragged down by your emotion. This is a very challenging situation. Your parents are supposed to be nurturing and take care of you but you are getting the exact opposite.
The eighteenth indication is that they make excuses to limit their time with you. Most often the excuses are pathetic. It makes you feel bad that they would rather be doing anything but spending time with you.
The ninetieth indication is that they display sudden mood changes. They go from one mood to another at the drop of a hat. They can also have outbursts and we do whatever we can to avoid triggering an outburst.
Hopefully, these 19 signs add clarity to your life when dealing with narcissistic parents.
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