11 Red Flags to Look for when you Suspect you are Being Cheated on

This post was written by Rhonda Wasserman

Original content by Ashley Berges

Let’s look at 11 signs that may indicate someone is cheating on you. We must keep in mind that one sign does not necessarily mean you are being cheated on. Most often it is a combination of these signs that indicate cheating.

1.  Emotional distancing or extremely attentive

We usually see emotional distancing when someone has stepped out or is cheating. Their minds and feelings are not in the relationship. On the opposite side, being extremely attentive is due to them covering their tracks or they are getting something outside the relationship they are not getting in the relationship. Perhaps they are feeling badly about what they are doing so they overcompensate in the relationship.

2.  Extreme and frequent texting

If you are with someone who has always been on the phone, then this is not a red flag. However, it is an indication if the texting changes. When someone who rarely texts or uses their phone is now constantly on their phone, this would be cause for concern.

3. New Possessiveness of their phone

They always keep their phone close by. They may even turn over the phone so that no one can see who is calling or texting. If this is a new occurrence, then it is something you should be suspicious of.  

4.  The volume gets down on the phone when they are on a call

This can be an indication that they do not want you to hear whom they are speaking to. 

5.  They accuse us of cheating

Often the situation is turned around and we get accused of cheating. This puts us on the defensive. Consequently, we find ourselves trying to prove our innocence. It also causes us to be so busy proving our innocence we don’t see what is going on with the other person.

6.  They become hyper-critical of us

Our partners begin to find fault with everything. Anything we do wrong becomes a problem. They rarely talk about or look at themselves and what they may be doing. Ultimately, they are trying to find reasons to justify what they are doing. Another reason they may be doing this is to devalue you. This allows them to feel ok about what they are doing. 

7.  When someone has stepped out, they seem to keep strict tabs on the other person

It appears that the other person always wants to know where we are all the time. This can make us feel like they are being very attentive to us, but if we take a step back, we will realize that they want to know where we are to keep tabs on us. 

8.  A new interest in outward appearance emerges

There may be a new interest in working out, losing weight, and dressing up. These are all indications that something may be going on. By themselves, these may not be an indication of cheating, but in conjunction with other indications, it may send up a red flag. 

9.  When we bring up a person, perhaps the person they are having an affair with, they speak badly about that person

Our partner is devaluing the person they are having an affair with, for multiple reasons. One reason is to make that person look bad in our eyes so that we do not think they are having a relationship with them. When someone devalues someone like this, it is because they are trying to get us off that path. This can be a big red flag.

10.  The person is randomly brought up in conversation

They begin to talk about someone they had not brought up in the past. It may be a new name or an old name from the past. This is something we do not normally catch; we do not see the implication. It may be interesting to ask them who this new person is and how they know them. 

11.  Our partner gets new interests

Their choice of food changes, they drink new drinks, and they may even bring new things into the bedroom. All these changes may indicate something is going on. Are these choices they are making for themselves or is the other person rubbing off on them?

We want to think clearly through all the above before we bring it up with our significant other. We need to address this delicately. It is time to ask ourselves if something in the relationship is not working. Is it communication, a lack of intimacy, or a lack of sexual intimacy that has gone awry in the relationship? 

People will step out of a relationship for many reasons. Sometimes there is no problem at home, people just step out. Other times, people step out because they are not getting what they want spiritually, mentally, or emotionally. The connection they desire is just not there. 

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