Big Rich Texas
Ashley Berges is the Big Rich Texas Life Coach
Kalyn meets with her Life Coach, Ashley Berges. This is the first of several meetings.
To see clip from Kalyn and Ashley’s first meeting, click on the link below:
Ashley Berges and Kalyn meet for their first time.
In the first meeting, I begin by understanding the client and their needs, frustrations, wants, desires, and life goals.
In this first meeting, Kalyn and I are able to get acquainted, be honestly comfortable with one another, and both of us are forthright. Kalyn is forthright about what has been problematic in her life, what she has struggled with, what she is currently struggling with, what she truly thinks of herself, and who she believes she can be. I am forthright with my knowledge and understanding of her situation, me as advocate not judge , and how much wonderful progress she will make in the process we are beginning.
In the second meeting, Kalyn and Ashley dive into Kalyn and her feelings for her father and the water under the bridge. Ashley states, “Many of my clients have lost touch with a family member due to a fight and/or argument. In these situations, we begin with personal thoughts and feeling, what the client consciously realizes, and the unrealized by the client…the shared ‘blame’ not just personal blame, the client is holding onto. In situations with family reuniting, the client has to realize completely that they are not the only to blame and their feelings are REAL too.
In our second meeting we discuss in depth Kalyn’s relationship with her father, mother, and Leslie. Meeting two is always more at ease then the first. Like anything in life, when we have done it once before, we have a level of comfort and understanding. Anything the first time is different and out of the scope of personal understanding and true knowledge. Kalyn and my first meeting was comfortable and the second meeting was even better.
For more information and pictures go to: http://www.stylenetwork.com/tv-shows/big-rich-texas/photos/detail.jsp?id=955#4
Throughout our second meeting, Kalyn was able to work through her and her father’s distance, issues, and how exactly to reunite and the underlining feelings and emotions involved. Kalyn, as seen on this episode, is dealing with the desire to reunite with her Father and the fear of him not taking her back, abandonment, and personal guilt that she has magnified.
Kalyn making the trip to her Father’s to begin much needed dialogue to reconnect.
Beginning dialogue with any parent or family member after years of disconnect is both difficult and emotional. Kalyn is honest, forthright, and real about her feelings and the reason for the disconnect. Both parties involved share some of the blame, neither is completely innocent.
After meeting with Ashley, Kalyn takes the initiative, traveling to California to reach out to her Dad to mend the relationship. “When a person holds out the olive branch, it doesn’t mean they were wrong. It only means that the relationship means more to them than being right or wrong,” says Ashley Berges.
To see the full second meeting with Kalyn and Ashley go to www.Style.com
The entire client is IMPORTANT…Not just subcategories. “Working to mend relationships is super important and even more important is the relationship the client has with them self,” states Ashley. “In order to be happy on this earth, each and everyone of us must be happy and content to some degree with ourselves. Being content with one’s self allows personal growth, understanding, and love. We can’t expect another person to love us if we don’t love ourselves,” stated with clear truth by Ashley Berges.
Meeting #3 with Kalyn: (Season #3 Finale Big Rich Texas)
In our 3rd Meeting, Kalyn and I begin discussing her reconciliation with her father and how freeing the experience has left her. Anytime, we as human beings go through a period of time of not speaking to a parent and or guardian, we have immense underlying stress in our lives. When the people or person that raised us and we are not on speaking terms, our lives have much unrest and unneeded stress. Realizing that some of us don’t have parents/guardians that are somewhat worth speaking to, even in that case, closer is a must. In Kalyn’s particular situation, her father is a caring and loving father who genuinely cares for his daughter and wants the best for her. With age we grow both physically and mentally and we are able to right the wrongs and mistakes we have made at early ages.
In our second meeting, Kalyn and I discuss what took place between her and her father and we took a deep look into the part she played in the divide and how she truly felt about it. Time can heal wounds and time can cause stress over unhandled situations. If you are currently dealing with a situation like this one, there is no time like the present. When we understand honestly the events that took place, we honestly look at the part we played, and we step back emotion aside and see it for what it is. We can then begin to get the knowledge needed to fix the situation. Kalyn’s emotions ran high and rightfully so because she truly loves her father and was embarrassed by her actions the last time she was with him. We’ve all made mistakes and our parents and guardians have made mistakes as well.
Remember that for the most part your parents were in their early 20’s when you were born. When we take into consideration the average maturity of a 20 year old, we can understand why our parents can make mistakes because they are basically kids too. With that statement, we understand that not one person is completely to blame. Fortunately, Kalyn took her responsibility and her father took his responsibly for the part he played in the past. Now that both will be spending more time together and getting to know each other again as father and daughter, their relationship will be filled with love and support from all who see the relationship bloom once again.
Kalyn and I discussed her relationship with Paul Lewis and she stated that he has helped her realize things in her life. Kalyn spoke about Paul in a loving and nurturing way. It seems that Paul is a nurturing man who really cares about Kalyn and her wellbeing. She told me how she felt about him proposing and how happy she is that they will be getting married. I am happy for them both and would suggest more coaching to insure the best outcome in the relationship. The need for more coaching starts here. The here is the engagement to Paul, a man who genuinely cares for her, and the need to remove any baggage from Kalyn’s past. Anytime we enter a new relationship, especially a marriage, the need to purge one’s subconscious of the negative and self-sabotaging life skills we learn at a young age is needed immediately. Many times, both men and women find themselves in wonderful relationships and instead of it lasting, the relationship fails. They fail because one person or both aren’t equipped to accept happiness and love.
Over time, we develop emotional and mental survival skills, while some are beneficial, others can be harmful and fatal to anything or person who is quality in one’s life. Sometimes, we are so used to punishment or argument that when we come into contact with a relationship that is positive and full of growth, we find a way to sabotage and blow it up. At this time, the client would need to read “The 10 Day Challenge to Live Your True Life” and set an appointment two weeks later. The appointment would be used to purge self -sabotaging beliefs and skills and overwrite those with positive life affirming skills and beliefs. In order to do this effectively and with lasting results, we will need to meet an average of five meetings. If need be, we can do couples coaching and truly purge both people of these barriers to happiness and allows both people involved to begin on level and equal ground together.
The work with Kalyn is rewarding for us both. I look forward to more life work, in other areas, with Kalyn in the future. Working with a life coach can give you the tools you need to live the life you know you can and should have. A life coach is on your team and will give real timely help to get your life off to a running start.
MORE TO COME…